did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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