I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize