Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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