the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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