I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
