ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
The police scanner is talking about you again....
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
