The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
