Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
