i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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