We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize