You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
