she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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