My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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