sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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