doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
