It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize