I want to stick my p in your. b.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
