If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
