Don't make out with my wife yet
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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