worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize
