somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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