Sponge bath it is.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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