Ambien. No doubt about it.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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