sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize