I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Randomize
