Jerry, you need to find god
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
