Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
