I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize