it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I'm both gender and math confused
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
