I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
