Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize