I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
