So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
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