She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
