He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
