how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize