watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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