his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you traded sex for a burrito?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
