i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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