I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize