All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
