Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
