): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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