I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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