Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
