i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
