My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You have to summon your inner elephant
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
