I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
