when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
