i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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