Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Need sex. Gaining weight.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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