Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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