You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
God I need to hump something, right now.
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