You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Welp...herpes.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
