there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
