I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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