You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Randomize
