remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
