Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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