This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
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