if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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