I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
her facebook's as public as her vagina
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
