You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
