Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
