Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
either way he was missing a nipple.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
