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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
