ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
